Manifishto

MANIFISHTO
POLLOCKY DOCKUMENT
Mr FISH FINGER

Even though I have only been in Pollocktics for a short while, I am fully codmitted to making Brexit work for the Codstituents of Westmorland and Lonsdale.
I will work to provide a better education system for Students. Free fishing rods for everyone.
Too many students are moving outside the codstituency in pursuit of better Chubb prospects. However, if they are getting the catch of the day, they won’t run away.

I will work closely with local businesses and the tourism industry.
No tax on chip shops and restaurants.
Farmers need our help, and we need to support our farmers through Brexit negotiations to ensure that they receive a fair eel.

If we had enough codidates to stand in every codstituency, we would not make manifishto promises that we can’t keep. We would, however, make a firm codmitment to hake Britain great again by making all MPs pre-qualify before standing for election. All codidates should pass a swimming test, and – once elected – must wear kipper ties and cod pieces for offishal duties.

Immigration is a part of what makes Great Britain great. In our Brexit negotiations, we need to develop an immigration policy that will guarantee open waters for fish of any race, creed, colour or gender who want to come to our country to work. There will be no flounders allowed unless they work.

NHS
More fish fingers on hospital menus, and free fish for NHS staff. Free training for nurses.

This is the first election the Fish Finger party will swim in. We will build on our success in this campaign, and we will field more codidates as our part grows. We have oceans of followers who want to sea us win.

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